George Galbraith
The Seeing Things
'There's nothing there.'
'No?'
'All I see is dots.'
'Dots?'
'Coloured dots.'
'Oh! Maybe it's the magnifier. Maybe it's too strong. Try it again without.'
'Well, without the magnifier it doesn't look like anything. Just a blur, as I said.'
'Hold it at arms length.'
'I still don't see it.'
'But look, just there.'
'It doesn't look like anything to me. I think you're imagining it.'
'No, no, it was there, really. Give me the photo. I'll stand back with it. How about that?'
'Well, I can see a tree. And a post with a parking sign. That's all.'
'I don't understand it. I was walking along...'
'I know, past this tree, and you heard a chirrup and you looked up and there was a bird...'
'That's right, and lucky enough I had the camera with me...'
'Yes, the one Sarah gave you for Christmas. You told me.'
'That's right, and it was a really funny bird sitting in the tree. Bits of gold and green. I've never seen anything like it. All sorts of colours.'
'Wasn't a partridge by any chance?'
'A partridge? I don't think so.'
'You know, On the first day of Chri...'
'Don't be silly! Anyway, I got the camera out and took the shot before it flew away...'
'But there's nothing in the tree. Look!'
'But there must be!'
'Well, there isn't. It's just a blur there, the branches moving or something...'
'Maybe it's the camera.'
'Could be. What make is it?'
'A Pan... Pantoscope, I think.'
'A Pantoscope? Never heard of it. Maybe it's broken.'
'It can't be, I've only just got it.'
'Maybe the battery's flat.'
'Couldn't be, I've hardly used it.'
'Maybe you had your thumb over the lens.'
'I don't think so...'
'Or maybe it doesn't do birds...'
'What? Look, the bird was there and I snapped it and then it flew away. It's digital, brand new, that camera. It can't possibly be broken. And it's got intelligent something... Of course it does birds.'
'How many pixels does it have?'
'What? I don't know. What do you mean?'
'Pixels. The camera. Bits of information. What sort of resolution does it give you?'
'Resolution? I haven't decided yet.'
'How do you mean?'
'What about, Don't try photographing any more birds...?'
'Oh, I see! Now I get you.'
'How about you? Have you made any?'
'Resolutions? Well, not this year. Though I had been thinking it's about time I got some new glasses...'
George has a piece in Attack!!!! 3: What is it Like to be a Bat?, which can be bought in the Cartilage shop.
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